it was such a hard time for me last night to make balance between resisting her temtation and respecting her love right. she has been hurt badly by a lier , but i WOULD NOT make her temperaly happy with another lie or one night stand. Sonia, girl, i do wish u understand that i wouldnt take any davantages of u when u r in hard time, i didnt go to ur hourse, but doesnt mean i m walking away as a friend, hopefully still can c u in jumpin jakes next week, with best wishes .
How to Resist Temptation
Satan temptedJesus in the desert, and Jesus responded by quoting scripture (Matthew 4).However, as you have probably noticed, just quoting scripture does not maketemptation go away, and it does not guarantee that we will resist it. After all,even Satan can quote scripture. I would like to recommend someadditional strategies in our struggle against sin.
Stay out of trouble
First, stay away from sin. Don’t golooking for Satan just to show that you can withstand his wiles. We aren’tsupposed to go looking for trouble, jumping off of spiritual cliffs andexpecting angels to rescue us. What I recommend is the opposite: Draw boundariesfor yourself that keep you away from the danger.
By boundaries, I do not mean thatyou see how close you can get to sin without actually going over the line. Thatis stupid, for the simple reason that our strength of resistance varies fromtime to time. A boundary that may be safe for us one day may be hazardous to usthe next, depending on our emotional state. So a boundary, if it’s going towork, has to be set for our weakest moment, not our strongest.
God doesn’t tell us where to put ourboundaries, and we all may need slightly different levels of strictness withourselves. For example, a photo that is sexually suggestive for one person maynot even catch the eye of another. Consequently, people have differing ideas ofwhat sort of pictures to avoid. People with a high tolerance should not lookdown on those with low tolerance—everyone must judge the risk for themselves.
A person with high tolerance shouldnot “push” the boundaries of the other, saying it’s OK, for that might cause theperson to sin. The person with high tolerance should also remember that it isdangerous to overestimate one’s strength. Many aspects of society are designedto tempt, so don’t forget that you are human.
Many of us struggle with temptationin the form of calories. Here, we can break our boundaries every now and thenand still recover. Many people have trouble with alcohol, and experience hasshown that the safest boundary for most is “absolutely none.” The potentialdanger is high; the benefits are low; it is simply not worth the risk.
Sexual temptations can also bedangerous, because the consequences of sexual sins are severe. We can’t just“recover” a relationship shattered by infidelity. Here, we must set boundarieswell away from the danger zone, just to make sure that nothing happens even inour weakest moments.
Forexample, our pastors have been given a boundary: They cannot counsel a womanalone. Although the chances of improprieties may be slim, the devastatingconsequences make the risk too great to allow private counseling. And forsimilar reasons, youth ministry workers are not to be alone with a child. Safetyis too important to leave to good intentions and assumptions.
Avoiding danger
Boundaries are required for pastors;they are also good advice for members. For example, it is dangerous forunmarried couples to be together in private in a bedroom. It may not be a sin,but it is not wise. Most of the time it may be “safe” (although it isn’t a verygood example). But no one knows in advance when a time of weakness will strike.The danger is too great to take an unnecessary chance.
One of our members gave me thisexample from his experience in construction: When working on a platform threefeet off the ground, safety belts were not needed. When working on a platform 30feet high (even though the chances of falling off were theoretically the same),safety belts were required; all workers had to be attached by rope to somethingsecure. When working on a large flat roof, safety ropes were not required unlessthe worker was within 12 feet of the edge. In other words, the requirements wereadjusted according to risk and the seriousness of the consequences.
The safety rules were particularlyinteresting for working on a large domed roof. At the top of the roof, where thesurface is nearly level, the chances of falling down are practically nil, andthe chances of injury are low. One could even go 20 feet out from the center,and the slope would still be quite gentle; even if somebody tripped and fellthere would be no danger.
However, one could go about halfwayout and still stand up, but there, the roof has a steep slope and a smallstumble might cause a person to fall off the building and die. But there was noidentifiable point where danger started. Consequently, workers had to besafety-roped no matter where they were on the roof. No specific “edge” made thedome dangerous, because no one could see where the danger zone started. Liveswere at stake, and theonly sensible precaution was to require everyone, even people on the flat partof the roof, to be safety-roped.
That is what we must sometimes dowith temptations. The more serious the consequences of failure, the morecautious we must be. When we are not sure where the danger zone is, we need toback up a bit further to make sure we do not enter it. In other words, if wewant to avoid sin, we draw boundary lines for safety, not for getting as closeas we can.
Some men who travel alone have aboundary in motel rooms: don’t turn the television on. They find it easier tokeep it off than to turn it off once it’s on, and they believe that thepotential for harm is too great for them to take a risk. Not all men have thesame boundary, but at least these men have a boundary that works for them.
Avoid pride
One lesson we should learn aboutresisting temptation is that we aren’t very good at it. It is dangerous to trustourselves to always say “no.” We might say “no” 98 times in a row, and weaken onthe 99th time. So one of the best ways to avoid problems is to keep out ofsituations that test our resolve. If we are tempted, maybe that’s a signal thatwe are already too close.
Paul advises, “Flee fornication!”Don’t take pride in knowing “when to stop.” Don’t trust in your strength toresist. If we are tempted to pad an expense account, we need to keep even morecareful records. If we are tempted to use humor that belittles someone else, weneed to back off. When we are tempted to take some forbidden fruit, we need tostay far away from it.
Get help
We can resist sin better when wehave help. Peer pressure can keep us honest, if we are with the right kind ofpeers. We are less likely to suggest something improper when we think the personwith us might disapprove. Sometimes it’s helpful to have friends who are morecareful than we are.
When we hide certain activities,when we have secrets in our closets, we may be in danger. The more open we are,the less we hide, the better others can help us.
Scuba divers and mountain climbersknow that it’s better to have a buddy. God designed us to walk through life withother people, not on a solo journey. No one has all the strengths—we need thestrengths that other people have, too.
Some people have “accountabilitypartners” to help them be honest about certain areas of life. Some people havespouses who do the same thing. A formal arrangement may not be necessary, but itcan be helpful. It is easier to resist temptation when we know that someone willbe checking up on us. A basic principle is, Don’t do anything you don’t wantpeople to find out.
When people fall
Last, I’d like to note thateverybody falls short sometimes. Some people eat too much, some people say toomuch and some people do too much—and sometimes they get caught. What do we dowhen a member gets caught—perhaps taken to jail or involved in a premaritalpregnancy?
Let the person without sin
throw the first stone
(John 8:7).
How do we resist the temptation tocondemn, or snub or feel superior? Jesus said, Let the person without sin throwthe first stone (John 8:7). He told the sinner, “Don’t do it again,” but he toldall the others, in effect: “Don’t throw stones. You need grace, too.” Forgive,just as you have been forgiven. We need to remind ourselves that we needforgiveness, too.
Forgiveness does not mean that weencourage the person to return to the situation that led to the sin. Rather, wecan help the person see that better boundaries are needed.
If a person has a weakness in onearea, more caution is appropriate. But what if the person doesn’t set wiseboundaries, and fails again, and again and again? What if the person seeminglydoesn’t learn from the mistakes?
Peter asked Jesus about it—howoften should we forgive? Seventy-seven times, Jesus said (Matthew 18:22), but hereally meant that we shouldn’t keep count. God has forgiven each of us anenormous amount (an infinite amount, since we are given eternal life), and weshould be equally generous in forgiving the temporary things of this life. Ourattitude toward sin needs to be more lenient for others than it is forourselves.
The best way to resist temptation isto stay away from it. That’s worth thinking about. What temptations do youstruggle with? Is there a better way to avoid the problems? Do you need a friendto help you? Do you need to get professional help?
And when others fail, we need toforgive. Are there certain sins that you find hard to forgive? What can you doabout that? That’s worth thinking about, too.